Family Therapy in Vancouver — Systemic Family Counselling in English & Farsi

Notice: For general interest only; may contain inaccuracies. Not a diagnosis, treatment, prognosis, or professional, clinical, or legal advice. Reading this creates no counsellor-client relationship. By reading this page, you agree to these terms. Full disclaimer. In an emergency, call 911.

Family therapy in Vancouver for the strain that lives between people, not inside one of them

Families usually arrive at family therapy with one person identified as “the problem”: a teenager who has shut down, a parent who is always angry, an adult child and a grandparent who cannot be in the same room. Family therapy in Vancouver with Samuel Ezzatilord, PhD, RCC, CCC, LMCC, looks at the pattern the whole family is caught in, because that is where the leverage is.

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What a family therapist in Vancouver actually does

Systemic family therapy treats the family as a system in which each person’s behaviour is partly a response to everyone else’s (Minuchin, 1974). In practice the first sessions map who protects whom, who speaks for whom, and which conversations never happen. The work then changes those patterns directly, in the room, rather than sending one member away to be fixed.

The evidence base is substantial. Carr’s review of systemic interventions for child- and adolescent-focused problems found family therapy effective across conduct problems, emotional problems, eating disorders and family conflict (Carr, 2019a), and a companion review reached similar conclusions for adult-focused problems including relationship distress and mood difficulties (Carr, 2019b). Where a family member has lived through trauma or war, the family work sits alongside individual trauma treatment rather than replacing it.

Who comes for family counselling

• Parents and teenagers who have stopped talking, or only talk by shouting.
• Adult children and ageing parents renegotiating care, money and independence.
• Blended and step-families working out loyalties and roles.
• Immigrant and bilingual families where one generation lives in Canadian norms and another in the norms of home; sessions run in English, Farsi, or both.
• Families recovering from a crisis: a diagnosis, a death, a separation, a disclosure.
• Families affected by one member’s addiction or a parent’s own trauma history.
• Spouses and children living with a narcissistic or controlling parent or partner. This situation has its own page, because joint sessions are not always the right format: see Narcissistic Parent or Partner — therapy for the spouse and children.

Who needs to attend

Whoever is willing. Family therapy works with the members who come, and a parent and one child is a legitimate starting point. Sessions are arranged so that no one is ambushed and no one is made the scapegoat in front of the others.

Your family therapist

Samuel Ezzatilord, PhD, RCC, CCC, LMCC, is a Registered Clinical Counsellor (BCACC #23405), Canadian Certified Counsellor and Certified Youth Mental Health Specialist (Evergreen Certifications) with more than 25 years of clinical experience. His work includes years in veterans’ care, where he learned that an injured person cannot be treated apart from their family, twelve years of humanitarian work with families in refugee settings, and current consulting on psychological assessment for children in care in British Columbia. He is trained in Internal Family Systems, the Gottman Method, Emotion-Focused Therapy, schema therapy and Dialectical Behaviour Therapy skills.

What happens when you call

1. You call or text. Samuel answers personally. No receptionist, no intake form.

2. You talk, twenty minutes, free. Describe who is involved and what has changed. Confidential within the limits of BC law and professional ethics.

3. You decide. In person at Suite 1300, 1500 West Georgia Street, downtown Vancouver, or by video across British Columbia. Hours: 7am–9pm, by appointment only.

Fees are covered by most extended health plans; direct billing available. FNHA, CVAP and IFHP cover eligible family members’ sessions.

Frequently asked questions

Is family therapy the same as couples therapy? No. Couples work focuses on the partnership; family work focuses on the wider system, often across generations. For partners, see couples counselling in Vancouver.

My teenager refuses to come. Start without them. Parents changing their side of the pattern is itself an intervention, and reluctant teenagers often join once they see the sessions are not a tribunal.

I grew up with a narcissistic parent. Is family therapy the right place to start? Often not as a first step. Adult children of a narcissistic parent usually begin with individual work on the patterns that childhood left behind; family sessions, if any, come later and only when they are safe and useful. See Narcissistic Parent or Partner for what the research says about children raised in that home, and Narcissistic Abuse Therapy for individual recovery.

Can sessions be in Farsi for the grandparents and English for the children? Yes. Mixed-language sessions are routine in this practice.

How many sessions? Family work is usually shorter than individual therapy; the plan is set after the first one or two sessions.

References

Carr, A. (2019a). Family therapy and systemic interventions for child-focused problems: The current evidence base. Journal of Family Therapy, 41(2), 153–213. https://doi.org/10.1111/1467-6427.12226

Carr, A. (2019b). Couple therapy, family therapy and systemic interventions for adult-focused problems: The current evidence base. Journal of Family Therapy, 41(4), 492–536. https://doi.org/10.1111/1467-6427.12225

Minuchin, S. (1974). Families and family therapy. Harvard University Press.