Notice: For general interest only; may contain inaccuracies. Not a diagnosis, treatment, prognosis, or professional, clinical, or legal advice. Reading this creates no counsellor-client relationship. By reading this page, you agree to these terms. Full disclaimer. In an emergency, call 911.

Couples therapy in Vancouver with a couples counsellor who works on the pattern, not the blame

Most couples who search for couples counselling or relationship counselling in Vancouver are not in crisis every day. They are tired of the same argument arriving in different clothes. Couples therapy with Samuel Ezzatilord, PhD, RCC, CCC, LMCC, a Registered Clinical Counsellor and couples counsellor in downtown Vancouver, maps that recurring cycle and gives both partners a way out of it that does not require one of them to lose.

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What couples counselling in Vancouver looks like here

Session one. Both of you describe the relationship as you each see it. The counsellor’s job is to find the loop: what one partner does when hurt, what the other does in response, and how that response confirms the first partner’s fear. Naming the loop is usually the first moment both people feel understood at the same time.

The method. The work follows the Gottman Method, built on longitudinal research that identified the specific conflict behaviours that predict separation and the repair behaviours that predict stability (Gottman & Levenson, 2000), combined with Internal Family Systems, which helps each partner notice the protective “part” that takes over mid-argument and speak from a steadier place instead (Schwartz & Sweezy, 2020).

The evidence. A review of the couple-therapy outcome literature concluded that couple therapy produces meaningful improvement in relationship distress for the majority of couples who complete it, with effects that hold for a substantial proportion at follow-up (Lebow et al., 2012).

Common reasons couples come

The same fight on repeat: money, chores, in-laws, time, sex, parenting.
One partner has gone quiet and the other feels alone in the relationship.
Trust has been damaged by an affair, secrecy, or a financial surprise.
Deciding whether to stay together, with a counsellor who takes no side on the outcome.
Premarital and early-marriage conversations before small patterns become fixed ones.
Intercultural and bilingual relationships; sessions are available in English or Farsi.

One partner can start alone

If your partner is not ready for couples therapy, you can begin on your own. Relationship work done by one person changes the cycle for both; the pace at which your partner joins is yours to set.

Your couples therapist

Samuel Ezzatilord, PhD, RCC, CCC, LMCC, is a Registered Clinical Counsellor (BCACC #23405) and Canadian Certified Counsellor with more than 25 years of clinical experience, trained in the Gottman Method, Internal Family Systems, Emotion-Focused Therapy for couples and schema therapy. His earlier humanitarian clinical work taught him that no one can be helped in isolation from the people they love, which is why couples and families have been the centre of his practice since.

What happens when you call

1. You call or text. Samuel answers personally. No receptionist, no intake form.

2. You talk, twenty minutes, free. Ask what a first joint session looks like, fees, insurance, whether the approach fits. Confidential within the limits of BC law and professional ethics.

3. You decide. In person at Suite 1300, 1500 West Georgia Street, downtown Vancouver, or by video across British Columbia. Hours: 7am–9pm, by appointment only.

Fees are covered by most extended health plans; direct billing available. ICBC, CVAP, FNHA and IFHP cover individual sessions where applicable.

Frequently asked questions

How long does couples therapy take? Many couples feel a shift in the first few sessions and complete a focused course over several months; the plan is set with you after the first session.

Will the counsellor take sides? No. The counsellor’s client is the relationship, and the work is structured so both partners are heard in every session.

We have children and a blended family. Is this the right page? If the main strain is between parents and children or across generations, see family therapy in Vancouver.

Is couples counselling appropriate when one partner is controlling, devaluing or emotionally abusive? Not always. Joint sessions are only recommended when both partners are safe and willing to look at their own part; otherwise the partner on the receiving end is seen alone. See Narcissistic Parent or Partner for what the research says about when couples therapy is and is not appropriate, and Narcissistic Abuse Therapy for recovery after such a relationship has ended.

Is Gottman Method couples therapy available in Farsi? Yes. Sessions run in English or Farsi, or a mix.

Can we do couples counselling online? Yes, by secure video anywhere in British Columbia.

Is relationship counselling different from couples counselling? No. Relationship counselling, couples counselling, couples therapy and marriage counselling describe the same work in this practice: two partners and one counsellor working on the pattern between them.

References

Gottman, J. M., & Levenson, R. W. (2000). The timing of divorce: Predicting when a couple will divorce over a 14-year period. Journal of Marriage and Family, 62(3), 737–745. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2000.00737.x

Lebow, J. L., Chambers, A. L., Christensen, A., & Johnson, S. M. (2012). Research on the treatment of couple distress. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 38(1), 145–168. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1752-0606.2011.00249.x

Schwartz, R. C., & Sweezy, M. (2020). Internal family systems therapy (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.