What Couples Therapy Actually Addresses

Couples therapy at Dr. Samuel’s practice is not about finding fault or adjudicating who is right. It is about understanding the cycle — the pattern of pursuit and withdrawal, attack and shutdown, criticism and defensiveness — that has developed between two people who, underneath the conflict, usually still care about each other deeply. The goal is to slow that cycle down enough to see it clearly, and then to change it.

Common presentations include: recurring arguments that never truly resolve; emotional or physical distance that has grown slowly over time; a breach of trust — infidelity, dishonesty, a betrayal — that has disrupted the security of the relationship; major life transitions (immigration, a new child, career change, loss) that have strained the partnership; and sexual or intimacy difficulties that reflect deeper disconnection. Dr. Samuel also works with premarital couples who want to build a strong foundation before difficulties arise.

Family Therapy in Vancouver — When the Whole System Needs to Shift

Family therapy is indicated when the difficulty is not located in one person but in the pattern of how family members relate to each other. Intergenerational conflict, a child’s mental health struggles, a family member’s substance use, or the aftermath of a trauma that affected the whole family — these are situations where treating one person in isolation misses the larger picture.

Dr. Samuel works with families using a systems-informed approach — understanding the roles, rules, and patterns that have developed within the family unit, and helping the family revise them in ways that work better for everyone. See also: Family Conflict & Boundary Issues.

Couples and Family Therapy for Iranian-Canadian Families

Iranian-Canadian couples and families often navigate specific tensions that are not well understood by therapists without cultural context: the pressure of آبرو (face, reputation) on whether to seek help at all; differing degrees of acculturation between partners or between parents and children; the weight of extended family opinion on relationship decisions; and the grief of navigating Iranian cultural values in a Canadian context. Dr. Samuel works with these dynamics in Farsi and English. See: Counselling for the Iranian-Canadian Community.

And no — your problem doesn’t need to be a crisis to belong here. Most of the people Samuel sees are simply tired, stuck, or quietly carrying something heavy.

Fees and expenses are covered by ICBC, CVAP, FNHA, IFHP, RCMP, VAC, and most other insurers, and direct billing is available.

Why couples choose this practice

Gottman-informed couples counselling and family work in Farsi and English in the same room — with a therapist who understands both cultures from the inside, not from a textbook.

Frequently Asked Questions — Couples & Family Therapy

Does couples therapy actually work?

Yes, for most couples who start before contempt and withdrawal have set in — and the earlier, the shorter the work. Samuel draws mainly on the Gottman Method and Internal Family Systems (IFS), two of the best-researched approaches for couples, with Emotionally Focused elements where attachment injuries are the core issue. Research on structured couples therapy consistently shows the majority of distressed couples move to a stable, satisfying range and hold the gains at follow-up. The biggest single predictor of a good outcome is not how bad things are — it is how long you waited.

What if my partner won’t come to therapy?

You can start alone, and it still changes the relationship. When one person stops feeding the cycle — the pursuing, the shutting down, the scorekeeping — the cycle has to change. Samuel works with many individuals on a relationship they are inside of, and many of those partners join later once they see the tone at home shift. If your partner never comes, you still leave with a clearer picture of what you need and how to ask for it.

Do you offer couples therapy online?

Yes. Secure video sessions are available to couples anywhere in British Columbia, and many couples alternate between in-person sessions at 1300–1500 West Georgia Street in downtown Vancouver and video from home. Online works well for couples who live in different parts of the Lower Mainland, travel for work, or have young children; the research on video-delivered couples therapy shows outcomes comparable to in-person when both partners can be in a private space.

Is couples counselling covered by extended health benefits in BC?

Usually, yes. Registered Clinical Counsellor (RCC) sessions are covered by most extended health plans in BC, and couples sessions are billed under the plan of the partner who is the client of record. Fees and expenses are covered by ICBC, CVAP, FNHA, IFHP, RCMP, VAC, and most other insurers, and direct billing is available. Bring both partners’ plan details to the free call and Samuel will tell you exactly what applies to you.

How do we know if we need couples counselling or if this is normal?

If you are asking, something has already stopped working. Every couple argues; the sign that you need help is that the same argument comes back unchanged, that one of you has started to withdraw rather than fight, or that small moments of contempt — eye-rolling, sarcasm, keeping score — have crept in. Those three patterns are the ones the Gottman research links most strongly to separation, and all three respond well to early work. Waiting does not make them fade; it makes them harder to reverse.

What happens in the first couples session?

The first session is mostly listening. Samuel meets you both together, hears each of your accounts of what is happening, and maps the cycle you keep falling into — who pursues, who shuts down, where it starts. There is no blame assigned and no verdict on who is right. By the end you will have a shared, neutral name for the pattern and a plan for the next few sessions. Some couples also have one individual session each early on, so each partner can say what is hard to say in the room.

Can couples counselling help after an affair?

Yes — trust after an affair can be rebuilt, and it happens in a specific order: full disclosure, genuine remorse, and then a rebuilt relationship that is different from the one the affair happened in. Samuel uses the Gottman trust-recovery framework for the structure and IFS for the parts of each partner that get flooded, ashamed or vengeful. It is slower than couples expect and more possible than they fear. Samuel has written more about it here: Rebuilding Trust After an Affair.

Do you see couples in person in Vancouver, or only online?

Both. Samuel’s office is at 1300–1500 West Georgia Street in downtown Vancouver, with evening and weekend times available. Couples from North Vancouver, Burnaby, New Westminster and West Vancouver often come in person for the first few sessions and switch to video once the work is underway.

Is what we say in couples therapy confidential — even from each other?

Everything said in session is confidential and stays inside the practice; nothing goes to your employer, insurer or family doctor without your written consent. Between partners, how anything said in an individual session is handled is agreed with both of you at the start, so neither partner is ever surprised. For Iranian-Canadian and other close-knit communities, discretion about who is attending is treated as part of confidentiality.

How do we start?

With a free 20-minute phone call — no receptionist, no intake form, no obligation. Call or WhatsApp 604-721-0604 or text a single line and Samuel will call you back within a day. You talk through what is happening and whether this is the right fit; if it is not, he will say so and point you somewhere better. Sessions are available in English and Farsi.

Explore Our Couples & Family Approaches

Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy · Gottman Method couples therapy · Healing from a narcissistic or emotionally abusive relationship

Marriage Counselling in Vancouver

Marriage counselling helps couples move from repeated conflict, distance, or broken trust back toward partnership. Dr. Samuel provides marriage counselling in downtown Vancouver and online across BC, drawing on the Gottman Method and Emotionally Focused Therapy — in English or Farsi. Premarital counselling is also available for couples building their foundation.