Free · Confidential · 6 Minutes

How Are You and Your Partner Really Doing?

A private self-reflection drawn from peer-reviewed relationship research. No sign-up. No email required. Just a quiet moment to listen to yourself.

1 · Connection

0 = not at all true, 5 = completely true

I feel close to my partner.

Our relationship is a source of comfort to me.

I look forward to spending time with my partner.

My partner knows who I really am.

2 · Communication

0 = never, 5 = all the time

We can talk about difficult things without it turning into a fight.

My partner listens to understand me, not just to respond.

I feel safe expressing what I really feel.

When something is bothering me, I bring it up rather than shutting down.

3 · Conflict

0 = almost always, 5 = almost never (higher is healthier)

We have the same argument over and over with no resolution.

One of us withdraws or goes silent when things get tense.

I feel criticized, dismissed, or unheard during disagreements.

After a conflict, we stay disconnected for a long time.

4 · Intimacy & Affection

0 = not at all satisfied, 5 = very satisfied

Satisfaction with the amount of affection (touch, warmth, kindness).

Satisfaction with emotional intimacy.

Satisfaction with physical/sexual intimacy.

5 · Trust & Security

0 = not at all, 5 = completely

I can count on my partner when it matters.

My partner has my back.

I feel emotionally safe in this relationship.

6 · Direction & Future

0 = not at all, 5 = completely

We’re moving in the same direction in life.

I can imagine a future with my partner that excites me.

Your Score

0 / 100

If one thing could change in your relationship tomorrow, what would it be? Hold that thought — it’s usually the doorway.

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This self-reflection is informed by peer-reviewed relationship research (including measures indexed in the APA PsycTests database such as the Couples Satisfaction Index, Revised Dyadic Adjustment Scale, and Relationship Assessment Scale). It is a reflective tool, not a psychological test, diagnostic instrument, or substitute for professional evaluation. If you are in crisis or experiencing abuse, please contact emergency services or a local crisis line.